The Adventures of Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl
by Crazy Authoresses CAT and AMS
Summary: What happens when you put five authors together with one prompt: Albel and Nel become Elicoor’s superheroes, Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl! More craziness than you can shake a Woltar at.
1. Two deranged superheroes are born

The Adventures of Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl

A/N- What happens when you put five authors together on a forum with one prompt: Albel and Nel become Elicoor's superheroes, the defenders of justice: Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl! Each SO author added on to the previous one's post (the game's called POPCORN) until… well, lots of craziness, a semi-plot, and something impossible to predict emerged. And now for the viewing pleasure of you non-forumers, we bring you our venture into psychosis. Yup, here it is, the beginning of the end of all our sanity. Yay!

The Authors:

The Crazy Authoress CAT: Yours truly, who thought up the plot and POPCORN method on my forum, SO Forum Fun)

NetOwl: The super-fun SO2 (mainly) author whose knack for humor translated sooo well into SO3. Also, the first after me to post a segment.

Psychodog- Now disconnected from her internet, but until then, one of the most enthusiastic (and hyper) authors on our fun project. COME BACK!

Blue Persuasion: What more do I have to say? Everyone knows Blue in her infinite coolness. Arguably as off her rocker as me.

Raven the Dark Angel: One of the first supporters of the idea. –glomp- Also, a freakin' awesome random humor writer.

POST ONE: Crazy Authoress CAT- And so it begins…

Amid the ancient ruins of Mosel, two ominously black-suited people sat at a stone conference table. Even though it was a an unusual place to find two such people, they both seemed at ease enough to be making inane small talk.  
"So, Romeria, you're looking well today."  
"Thank you, Arzei. I could say the same about you."  
"So why are we dressed in these 'suit' things?"  
Romeria paused and considered.  
"Well, mainly because Cliff said it'd be more appropriate for such a meeting. Plus, I like the Rayban sunglasses."  
"Ah. That makes sense. They do look badass."  
Far away in an inn in the town of Peterny, Fayt Leingod had a nightmare and began screaming unintelligibly about something involving the letters U, P, and the number three.  
"Indeed."  
There was a long, awkward pause between the two royals as they ran out of things to talk about. Romeria coughed politely and examined one hand for broken nails.  
"Wanna get married?" Arzei said, grinning lecherously.  
"Do you ask every woman you see to marry you?"  
"Maybe…" Arzei pouted sullenly.  
Romeria glared pointedly over her sunglasses at him, her red eyes making her seem (if possible) more possessed.  
"So I'll take that as a no?"  
"A brilliant deduction, Arzei." She sighed.  
Arzei paused again, rethinking his battle strategy. Finally, he paused and turned to the person sitting next to the Queen.  
"What about you, lovely handmaiden? I could take as my wife and the whole of Airyglyph would hail you for your beauty."  
The person in question, whose hair had been hiding 'her' face, jolted up out of his chair sharply, a look of vehement horror and disgust on his face.  
"I'm not a girl!" Laselle screeched, his voice hitting a note high enough to deafen Farleen.  
"S-Sorry!" Arzei stuttered, also horror-struck, "The dress threw me off!"  
"It's not a dress, it's a robe!" Laselle glared, "Besides, that joke's getting old. Between you, Albel, Cliff, and the little girl down the street from me, everyone's heard it by now."  
"Doesn't make it any less true…" Arzei hummed in a sing-song voice.  
"Silence!" Romeria commanded in a menacing voice, red eyes glowing.  
Immediately, the two men fell silent and quit jabbing at each other with taunts of androgynousness.  
"Now, Arzei, shouldn't Albel be here soon?"  
"He usually responds to the Flanbel call rather quickly; he'll be here any moment. But where's your star spy, the lovely and always-rejecting-me Ms. Zelpher?" Arzei half-pouted.  
"I sent out the work-a-holic signal a good half hour ago. She too should be arriving any--"  
The two monarchs were interrupted by the loyal servants in question bursting into the room. Both looked bedraggled, bloody, and generally pissed off. Of course, that meant that they didn't look much different than usual.  
"Your majesty—Nel Zelpher reporting for duty." The first warrior, a redhead whose fists were clenched and whose eyes gleamed with psychosis, lowered herself into a bow.  
"Excellent dramatic timing, Nel. We were just speaking of you." Romeria smiled, shooting a smug look at Arzei.  
Arzei in turn looked expectantly at his technicolored warrior, who glared at him witheringly.  
"Why can't you be more like Nel?" Arzei whimpered resentfully.  
Albel stopped and glared at his king.  
"If you ever say that again, I'll be compelled to abdicate you from the throne forcefully."  
Arzei paled, and tried to ignore both the way Albel was caressing his sword and Romeria's giggles.  
"Errr.. never mind that right now. I'm sure you two are wondering why you two were called."  
Albel growled and Nel had to restrain him to keep him from attacking his king.  
"What my colleague means to say," Nel said, rolling her eyes, "is that we don't wonder so much why we were summoned as why we were summoned here."  
"We only had one aqua veil! I had to share with the wench. Plus, she doesn't know how to read a map!"  
"Well, maybe if you hadn't insulted the seller, he would have given us the right map! I should have left you to shrivel up like a raisin in the desert!" Nel growled, retrieving her map and flourishing it in Albel's face. "In case you didn't notice, this says 'Peterny' in big letters across the top."  
"10,000 fol was an outrageous price! No way was I gonna give that much to a crazy old man! I got a bargain on this one."  
"I knew I shouldn't have left the negotiation to you!"  
If there was one thing the King and Queen had in common, it was a fondness for their angsty little orphan warriors, so they ignored the argument that was taking place. Only after the angsty orphans' weapons had been drawn and they were trying to stab each other in vital organs did the two royals deem it necessary to break them up.  
"Enough." Romeria called.  
The two continued trying to kill each other.  
"Nel… do I have to give you a time-out?"  
Nel immediately backed down, but not without sticking out her tongue in Albel's direction. Albel reciprocated, but then paused and turned to Arzei.  
"Really, why are we all the way out here? During the war it was neutral territory, but now it seems pointless to come—"  
"Well, if you really want to know, it's because…" Arzei paused for dramatic effect, then noticed that Albel was preparing to draw his katana again. "it's our secret hide-out!"  
"Secret hide-out?" Nel scoffed, "That's so completely dumb--!"  
Romeria glared at her from across the table.  
"It was also my idea." She said.  
Tiny beads of sweat began appearing around Nel's brow, while Albel looked on with a sardonic smirk plastered across his face.  
"You didn't let me finish, your highness! I meant to say… uhh.. The enemy will think that it's so completely dumb. Therefore, it's brilliant! Your strategic cunning knows no limits, Holy Mother Queen."  
Albel broke into a fit of coughing amid which one could easily make out the words suck-up.  
"Shut up, Nox!"  
Romeria groaned and rolled her eyes, deeming it wise to move the meeting along before the two attempted to assassinate each other… again.  
"At any rate, your mission, should you choose to accept it—"  
Albel's eyes brightened immediately.  
"You mean we have a choice?"  
"No." Romeria sighed.  
"Then why—"  
"Because. Anyways, as you know, though you all defeated the foreign threat, the Vile Wind has not dissipated. Many of our own citizens are beginning to be turned into monsters, both figuratively and literally, by this plague. And so we had to choose the brightest and the best—"  
"And the most mentally unbalanced." Arzei piped up helpfully.  
"As I was saying, we needed a team of the best warriors our countries could muster. Unfortunately, you two are the only ones who fit the bill."  
Albel and Nel looked at each other warily, and immediately, both of their eyes widened.  
"You don't mean that I'm going to have to work with the worm, do you?" Albel hissed, red eyes narrowing ominously.  
"Wh- What about Clair? She's technically of higher rank than me! Shouldn't she be doing this?" Nel said, searching desperately for an excuse to get her out of her predicament and not caring if she was dragging her best friend down too.  
"No, she and Adray are on leave because they he created another contest to marry off Clair."  
Nel deflated like a popped balloon and sighed, resigning herself to her fate.  
"Fine. I'll do it, but that doesn't mean I'll like it." She pouted, crossing her arms.  
"Likewise." Albel snorted.  
Both Romeria and Arzei's faces lit up into such bright smiles that the two minions were immediately wary. And by wary, I mean trying to bolt for the door.  
"Alright, then!" Arzei chirped happily, "Laselle, bring out the uniforms!"  
"Uniforms…?" Nel and Albel sputtered at the same time.  
Laselle bristled slightly at being commanded by the king of the country that was formerly his enemy, but one look from Romeria silenced any protest he might have made. With minimal sulking, he dragged a chest out from the corner of the conference room and lifter the lid with a pompous flourish. Inside were two bright red bodysuits (-cough- leotards –cough-), one with a pair of tights and a sarong, the other with an impossibly short skirt. The one with the tights (presumably the male version, though with Albel it wasn't a sure bet he'd go for it instead of the skirt) was emblazoned with big purple letters reading SB. Likewise, Nel's outfit had the same kind of lettering, though it substituted SB for SG.  
Both warriors took one look at the costumes and immediately dove at them, weapons in hand. After several minutes of struggle, they finally resurfaced, though the costumes showed no signs of damage.  
"What in the name of Apris did you make these of?" Nel panted resentfully.  
Meanwhile, Albel had become entangled in his uniform during the course of the fight and was panicking.  
"Help! The damned thing is sticking to me! It won't come off!" he said, valiantly continuing the struggle, occasionally pausing to glare at the world in general.  
"It's something Cliff showed us!" Arzei said, grinning like an excited five-year-old, "It's called… SPANDEX!"  
There was a collective shudder between Nel and Albel at the sound of the word.  
"Now why don't you go change and we can brief you on the rest." Romeria smiled graciously as the two retched, "Plus, from now on, we shall refer to you respectively as Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl for security reasons."  
"Fine, but I do not call this job satisfaction." Nel grumbled, snatching up her suit and stomping into the next room.  
"Cliff is going to die." Albel growled, still trying to detangle himself.  
...POPCORN...

POST TWO: NetOwl- ROF laughter guaranteed!

"Your Majesty," said Nel, "Do you mind telling me what benefits might be derived from wearing these borderline obscene costumes?"  
"Certainly," said the Queen. "Your uniforms have been tailored to your strengths. Our manufacturer imbued yours with the same runological charm that we used on your regular Crimson Blade uniform. No matter how high in the air you jump, and no matter what angle an observer might take for fighting you, the skirt stays between the observer and you, ensuring that no one will ever get a glimpse at your underwear, even in the heat of battle. Such a thing would surely mortify you and ruin your chances of defeating your opponent, would it not?"  
"Surely it would, Your Majesty," said Nel.  
"And Albel's uniform has been treated with a different runological charm," the Queen continued. "As you should well be aware, his hair is an interesting color."  
"Duly noted," said Nel.  
"Ah," said the Queen, "but did you ever notice that his hair is not just one interesting color, but two?"  
"That never came up in conversation," said Nel.  
"It took our most secret intelligence gathering service to learn this about him, but Albel apparently uses so many hair care products to achieve his desired look that he has, shall we say, dandruff problems."  
"Dandruff problems, Your Majesty?"  
"Severe dandruff problems. Even the most potent of dandruff shampoos cannot mask the sea of snowy white flakes that infest whatever clothing he wears. As he is the only one in the world with dandruff that bad, we feared that it would give away his presence on high security missions. Albel's dandruff is unmistakable. But his new uniform has on it a runological charm for warding off dandruff. With it, Albel can walk around fearlessly."  
"Not bad," said Albel as he glanced at his shoulders. "I don't see a thing."  
"That is as it should be," said the King. "If all is well, then I believe we can begin discussion of your mission."  
"By all means," said Nel.  
The Queen picked up the discussion. "Your first task as Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl..."  
"Hey," Nel interrupted, "Why does his name get to go first?"  
"Because I'm the team leader," said Albel.  
"Why is that?" said Nel. "Shouldn't the leader be the most skilled member of the group?"  
"Precisely," said Albel. "Some pathetic Aquarian tagalong worm shouldn't get first dibs on team naming rights."  
"I'm a Crimson Blade, though!" said Nel. "I have twice the skill you have with spying. You're just a brute of a swordsman."  
"I've seen you fight," said Albel. "Until you joined up with those filthy offworlders, you were nothing. You would have been kidnapped, tortured, and executed a dozen times over had you not had so many pointless cannon fodder flunkies at your beck and call. Did you ever tell Tynave and Farleen what happened to their predecessors?"  
"That was a fluke!" said Nel.  
"What about the ones before them? And before them? I sense a pattern."  
"Yeah, so what?" said Nel. "Spying is a dangerous job. Someone has to die, and it sure as heck isn't going to be me."  
"How noble of you," said Albel. "I hope you enjoy your new role as my expendable sidekick."  
Nel mumbled under her breath. "I'm sure I will." She then shouted, "And I'm sure I'll stick a freaking knife in your back when you least expect it!"  
Her face turned red. "Oops. I said the loud part quiet and the quiet part loud."  
"Enough, both of you," said the Queen. "If all goes well..."  
The King coughed. "Yeah, right," he said under his breath.  
"...Neither of you should die."  
The King said, "And Albel is only first in the team name because we put the two secret code names in alphabetical order."  
"That's not fair!" said Nel. "Why don't you put our real names in alphabetical order."  
"Fine," said the King. "Albel, followed by Nel."  
"Still not fair," said Nel. "Go by our last names."  
"Fine," said the King. "Nox, followed by Zelpher."  
"Drat," said Nel.  
"You really are pathetic," said Albel.  
"Now, about the mission," said the Queen.

TO BE CONTINUED… in Volume Two. Bwahahaha! Be prepared.

Also, if you like what you just read, if you head on over to my forum, SO Forum Fun, you can join in with us too. We're always looking for new and fun people to recruit, so give it a shot. This means you! –threatens readers with cardboard knife-wielding penguins-

Now… please review. –makes puppy eyes- We'd all appreciate it greatly!


	2. Mission Impossible: Nox vs the box

The Adventures of Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl

A/N- Alright, we got a couple new'uns in the forum, so this has done its job well enough. But there are still other humor ficcers who haven't joined yet. –cough- AMS –cough- That means you too, reader! Now… for Part Two of the craziness. Thanks to all who reviewed because they're like crack to me. Well, enjoy!

PART THREE: Psychodog

"So do we get a super cool spy title mission?" Albel asked.  
"No... you get the spandex, now sit down and be quiet." The Queen replied.  
"Ooh, busted!" Nel giggled.  
"Now if you'll all just shut up and listen to what I have to say, I won't throw something at you." The Queen then cleared her throat, "Your first mission is to-"  
"First mission? I beg your pardon!" Albel slammed his clawed fist on the table, "Who said we're going to do more than one mission?"  
"I did, now shut up and sit down boy! Before I scrub your hair clean off!" The queen snapped.  
"Well, at least the dandruff won't be a problem." Arzei snickered.  
"I don't have dandruff!" Albel scowled.   
"Ooh, then what's that white stuff in your hair?" Nel asked poking Albel's locks. "Next thing you know, Albel's hair is really a wig."  
"My hair is not a wig!" Albel roared.  
"Will you shut up!" The Queen tossed Laselle (who was sitting quietly by the way) at Albel. Albel began to squirm around.  
"AHHH! AhHHH! I'm sorry but... I cant love you back!" Albel yelled, flailing around with Lassele on top of him.

(cough cough)

Arzei coughed, "Ookay... so you got anymore secrets you're hiding from us skirt boy?"  
"Yes." Albel replied defiantly. "The truth is... It really is a wig!" He pulled off his wig to reveal a shiny bald head.

(Dead Silence followed by gasps)

"So Albel... you're really a... cueball?" Nel asked in amazement.  
"Yes, so now you know that I don't have dandruff" Albel replied.  
"Anything else?" Nel asked.  
"One other thing." Albel lifted his skirt. "I really wear shorts underneath."

(Enter shocked expression/ Dead silence and gasps here)

At that moment Cliff entered the room to see a bald Albel and him lifting his skirts to reveal not only the spandex... but boxers too. Cliff collapsed in shock.  
"DAMN YOU MAGGOT!" Albel scowled kicking Cliff in the head. "You're supposed to faint AFTER my next secret!" '  
"Ok, we don't need to hear your social problems." The Queen tossed Arzei, chair and all at Albel. "Now about that mission."  
The door then opened again and Fayt entered the room, he eyed Albel ('nuff said)... the queen... and Nel (in spandex) and Arzei, who was giggling like crazy.  
"Ooookay... I'll be leaving now." Fayt was about to turn around but the Queen tossed Cliff AND Lassele at the blue haired earthling.  
"WHAT PART OF DO NOT ENTER DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND? THIS IS TOP SECRET!" She pointed to the sign on the door which stated in red letters, Public bathroom: Occupied.  
"Something tells me her majesty needs anger management." Nel whispered to Albel.  
"Well at least that's normal. My sorry-excuse-for-a-king is giggling more than Pepitta on 300 cans of soda." Albel replied.  
"Now..." The Queen huffed, "The first mission will be ...!"

………..POPCORN……….

PART FOUR: Blue Persuasion

"OH! Are we playing cops and robbers?" Peppita somersaulted into the room and onto the table.  
"Look at the pretty dollie!" Lasselle looked up, he had hit his head hard.  
"TOP SECRET PEOPLE!" The Queen hung her head as she shouted.  
"I know! Cowboys and Indians!" Peppita proceeded to dance on the table in a traditional Indian style.  
Arzei clapped his hands. "How about you? Wanna get hitched?"  
Peppita stopped dead in her tracks.  
"ARZEI!" Romeria shouted. Surprisingly her voice was still intact. It would seem she was used to shouting. "That's illegal even on Elicoor!"  
Arzei shrank back.  
"Well, this has been very eventful," Nel responded dryly.  
Albel sighed. "What's the mission?"  
"Oh, a mission?" Sophia appeared out of nowhere. "I wanna go!"  
"OH, it's over-chirpy girl." Lasselle said dreamily as he watched the girl climb over him, Fayt and Cliff – still in a pile on the floor.  
"Can't breath… Need air."  
"Did you hear something?" Nel asked scanning the room.  
"Oh, that's just Fayt asking for help. He's on the bottom and can't breath. Now about this mission?" Sophia smiled.  
Nel nodded to the Queen. "Sophia, seems that there's a crisis in Kirlsa. Woltar is having trouble with his toaster. Why don't you go see if you can help."  
"Mkay," she replied, climbing back over the pile on the floor.  
"Still can't breath… Dieing…"  
Everyone ignored Fayt.  
Albel shook his head. "What next? The Menodix Mafia?"  
"You called?"  
"ROGER! GET OUT!"  
"Alright, but I just thought you should see that first," Roger said pointing at Albel.  
Albel was stitching something.  
"Whatcha got Alby?"  
"Don't call me Alby, Nelly. It's nothing, just this." Albel held up a mask. "Every great super hero needs a mask."  
"Who said we were super heroes?"  
"OH, I like this game." Peppita shouted for joy.  
"What next?" Arzei asked. "A cape?"  
"Working on it," Nel replied, she had started stitching herself.  
Arzei's eyes gleamed. "Oh I want one. I want a uniform!"  
Romeria pulled out a club and smacked Arzei from across the table. "Back to business. But to announce this evening's mission, let me introduce the charming and lovely Tynave."

……….POPCORN……….

PART FIVE: Psychodog

What a cutie!" Arzei jumped and grabbed Tynave's hand. "Hey there, sweetie, how about you and I get something to-"  
"Arzei! Quit your flirting and sit down!" The Queen threw Cliff and Lassele at Arzei.  
Gasping for breath Fayt cheered, "SWEET FREEDOM! I'm FREE!"  
The door then slammed open as Sophia appeared. "Hey you guys, Woltar's toaster isn't broken! He doesn't even have a toaster!" The door slammed into Fayt as he was tossed out the window.  
Nel and Albel peered over the window staring at Fayt twitching below.  
"Why are we cramped in a bathroom? And why is there such a large window in a bathroom?"  
"Well, funny story." Cliff laughed, "Y'see I gave them an air freshener but they broke it the first day. Adray sure can leave his mark after pork, beans and egg night. Hence, we have a WINDOW! TA DAH!"  
"Shut up door mat." The Queen grabbed Cliff by the arm and tossed him at Arzei (who was flirting with Sophia now.)  
"I never saw such beautiful, large eyes, except those on the crystal- OOF!" Arzei was knocked out cold from Cliff the iron projectile!  
Albel and Nel continued their knitting as her majesty explained the mission... Albel knitted a nice hat and put it on his bald scalp. (Just to let you know, Albel shampoos his head to keep it's lustrous shine)  
"So for your first mission you must deliver this MYSTERIOUS PACKAGE!" The Queen announced.  
Tynave handed them the box, it was steel and covered in chains and locks.   
"You must bring it to Woltar, who will give you a pink bunny rabbit doll and after that you must go to Surferio to get the rare GOLDEN TUNA, with the box, doll and tuna you send it ALLL the way to that itty bitty country of Greeton, understood?"  
"But what's in it?" Albel asked poking it with his sword. The Box hissed wildly as it rocked back and forth violently. But not as violent as the queen was.  
"IT'S A SECRET FOR ME TO KNOW AND YOU TO NEVER FIND OUT!" She snapped, "NOW YOU MUST NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER OPEN THIS BOX. UNDERSTOOD?"  
"Okay." They both stared at the box oddly.  
"Be careful you two, the box is..." Tynave replied (Lightning effect here) "EVIL..."   
DUN DUN DUN!

……….POPCORN……….

PART SIX: Blue Persuasion

Nel and Albel shrugged as they left the cramped and very small bathroom. It was extremely small and very cramped.  
"So, plan 'trap the spandex weirdoes' is in effect?" Mirage asked, emerging from a dark corner.  
"Yes, evil lord mistress of the dark domain and the realm of no pink," the king replied trying to stand after getting knocked out - not an easy thing to do and he was failing at it.  
"Oh, no pink!" Sophia exclaimed.  
"No," Mirage answered, causing the girl to faint. "Now, I'll be leaving. You might want to send someone in on clean up duty."  
Mirage left the room.  
"Clean up, um… I think Vox will handle this."  
"Arzei, you moron – Vox is dead."  
"Ameena?"  
"Dead."  
"Dion?"  
"Dead."  
"Demetrio?"  
"Dead."  
"Fayt?"  
"Possibly dead."  
"Biwig?"  
"Okay, you're making stuff up now."  
--Out side, our two heroes are trudging along to Kirlsa—

"Hey, Noxie! Open the box."  
"You open it," Albel handed the box to Nel.  
"Nope, can't do that. Only a virgin can. So you open it."  
"Virgin? You think I'm a…"  
"Yup, now open it."  
Albel growled. "It's getting dark. Better make camp."  
They made camp. The box was placed on the ground and the two spent most of the night staring at it.

……….POPCORN……….

PART SEVEN: Psychodog

"It's a... pretty nice box, eh Albel?" Nel stared at the box with locks and chains.  
"Yeah... pretty nice." Albel replied his eyes staring at the box.  
"I'm not curious, no curiosity here, no siree, nope, none, zilch, nada."  
"I think the box just hissed and growled at us."  
"Let's poke it with a stick!" Nel began to poke it furiously. "Dammnit! IF ONLY THIS BOX COULD TALK AND TELL US WHAT THE HELL IS IN IT!"  
"Have you lost your mind, fool? Boxes don't talk!"  
"Boxes don't growl, snap and hiss at us either!" Nel snapped back.   
"We can always kidnap that Maggot and force us to tell us, I mean, she was the one who handled it before... right?"  
"Her name is Tynave, TYNAVE. Remember it!"  
"Whatever! A MAGGOT IS A MAGGOT!"  
"What about we hold Lasselle for ransom?"  
"You fool! That's doing them a favor! By the way these accursed spamdecks Are itchy!"  
"I do believe it's spandex."  
"Whatever, maggot!" Albel kicked the box, the box hissed and growled some more. As if some wild animals was caged within. "Stupid package! Stupid Spandex! Stupid cheap 99 Fol Wig!"  
"Just shut up I'm going to sleep." Nel turned over in her sleeping bag. "Albel, watch the box tonight."  
"Fine." Albel grumbled. He eyed the box carefully... "This box is made of steel right?"  
"Yeah, what of it?" Nel asked irritatedly as she turned the other way.   
"Oh nothing..." Albel's eyes flashed menacingly. He could cut steel like paper... "You just go to sleep, Maggot, just go to sleep... hehe..."

TO BE CONTINUED… in Volume Three! Mwahahahah to the max!

Now click the box or the Periwinkle Box becomes sword practice for Albel. You don't want that on your conscience, do you?


	3. Operation: Destroy Skirt Boy&StabbyGirl

The Adventures of Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl

Chapter 3

A/N- Alright! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! We all appreciate it mucho grande (In case you can't tell, CAT has never taken Spanish.). –crickets chirp- Err… yeah. I'm having a case of introduction block, so we go straight to the disclaimer! –runs off to watch more Ghost in the Shell:SAC-

Disclaimer: None of us own Star Ocean, though the firabbits are copyright me. Patent pending!

PART EIGHT: Raven the Dark Angel

While Nel slept Albel stared at the box. It sat unusually still as compared to the rattling before but that wasn't about to fool him. He eyed the thing from across the campfire. No... it was plotting something. He could feel it... or was that the spandex crushing his blood flow to his brain? No matter.

Albel leaned forward and unsheathed his sword and gave the box a tap.

Nothing.

He tapped again.

Nothing.

Hmm... He sat there and gave an experimental step forward and knelt down in front of the thing. Trying to play dead was it? Oh that box wasn't about ready to outsmart him!

He gave the thing a good shove toppling it over on its side. And that's where his problem began. The box vibrated across the ground and ran away! His eyes nearly popped out of his head when he lost sight of it. Crap! What to do... what to do.. He didn't want to wake up Nel or else she'd know his folly at being able to watch the box. He couldn't tell her because he simply didn't need her help and he'd get it back because well... he was Skirt Boy! er.. Albel the Wicked damn it! Grr! Stupid mission names...

And so he went. Albel stalked through the mountain path and darted his eyes across the scene. There it is! He dove to the ground. "oof" but the blasted thing scooted away again. This was getting ridiculous. What the heck was in that thing anyway and since when did boxes walk away?

Finally after searching under rock after rock and some pebbles (because you never know with this thing) he saw it again and immediately unsheathed his sword.

"Ha!" he cried and swung the point at its lock. "I've got you cornered."

The box began to whimper.

Albel's eye twitched. What the hell? He snarled. Was this thing alive or what? "Maggot..." Wait could he even call it that... It was an inanimate object after all right and why was he talking to a box anyways? "I demand you come with me or else would you like to lose a few things?"

Albel scrapped the sword across some of it's chains. How did you go about torturing a box into submission anyway? "Cooperate or the lock gets it!" he warned.

The box began to bounce wildly.

"You've got ten seconds to stop it or else it goes, you hear, fool!"

The box jumped up and down more.

That was it! Albel slashed the lock off and the box suddenly burst open.

Skirt Boy's eyes widened.

"Nox! What are you doing!" Nel shouted, rubbing her eyes. "The queen told us NOT to open it!"

Albel could only stay silent. How was that even humanly possible!

Nel leaned over to see what Albel was staring at and she raised an eyebrow. "Farleen!"

"HIIII!" she sang and Albel cringed. "It was so cramped in there."

"That thing is only twelve by twelve inches in size!" The man protested.

"Whaaaaat?" Farleen drawled in dazed confusion.

"It doesn't matter!" Nel screamed and fell to her knees. "Nox! How could you! You made me disobey an order directly from the queen. Noooo-ooo! My life is ruined." And she collapsed to the floor.

Albel blinked.

"Saaay..." Farleen piped "I was supposed to help deliver this." And she held out a small object in her hand.

………POPCORN………

PART NINE: Psychodog

Farleen put on a smile as she handed the object in her hand to Nel. "Lady Nel, do take care of this, and make sure you don't make the same mistake twice." In her hand was a SMALLER box covered in MINI locks, chains and caution signs.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?" Albel roared. "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THIS WAS A DUNCE BOX?"  
"The queen knew you would do something silly, Mr. Cueball." Farleen smiled. "By the way--! Whatever you do! Don't put it anywhere near water, ice cream, salted peppers, and menodix's, definitely not menodixes, and under direct sunlight."   
"And what if we do?" Albel asked.  
"Well then..." Farleen put on an eerie grin, "You won't be able to see the next sunrise."

The two Warriors just blankly stared as Farleen waved and ran away. "Errrrrr... Okay..."   
"Well at least it's travel size..." She stared at the small box in her hand.  
Carefully, she began to examine it. Sure enough, it was snapping and growling like the previous box. Albel, with his forefinger and thumb picked it up. "Stupid little contraption." He muttered. He shook it violently. "First I have to be teamed up with the queen of all maggots, next I have to wear this ridiculous suit, and NOW I HAVE TO BABY SIT A CARNIVOROUS LIITLE MAGGOT BOX!"  
Insulted, the box snapped it's (mysterious) jaws down on Albel's arm.  
"AGHHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! IT'S CHEWING ME!"  
As Nel laughed at the foolishness of Albel, from a bush not far off two children were spying the two warriors from in a bush.  
"Alpha team in position." A pair of fuzzy ears and a tail appeared. "Come on Peppita, the ambush! We have to make a quick AMBUSH. We're ALPHA team."  
A second head appeared from behind the bush. "OPERATION POP GOES THE WEASEL IS IN POSITION!"  
"Can your voice be ANY louder?" Roger yelped. "We might as well put a sign on our shirt reading "LOOK WE'VE COME TO AMBUSH YOU! In big red letters."

The two kids began to cackle maniacally. "If we succeed! Mirage promised me a date with Maria!"  
"OPERATION SWEET CARAMEL CHICKEN, HO!" Peppita yelled happily.  
"I thought you said it was operation pop goes the weasel?"  
"OPERATION MOON-MOON ROOSTER!"  
"Peppita, make up your mind already!"  
"OPERATION SWING SWING BOOM!"  
"No wait- Peppita!"  
"OPERATION POOP ON A STICK!"   
"Peppita!"  
"I KNOW! OPERATION-" An evil look appeared on Peppita's face. "DESTROY SKIRT BOY AND STABBY GIRL."

……….POPCORN……….

PART TEN: Blue Persuasion

"ALRIGHT! You finally got it right!" Roger jumped up and down for joy, oblivious to the fact that Nel and Albel were watching the whole thing with intense interest.  
"YES!" Peppita hissed. "Alphia team HO!"  
"Alphia? NO no no… that's ALPHA!"  
Peppita blinked at him. "Then what's an Alphia."  
Roger whispered in her ear. Her eyes grew big. "Oh, that might not be so bad after all."  
"That's enough you two," Mirage said lifting them both up by the backs of their collars. "It's over, I just caught Maria making out with Sophia."  
"What?" both children yelled together. "But they hate each other."  
"Yeah, seems they prefer each other over Fayt." With that she carried the two children away.  
Albel turned to Nel. "What is Alphia?"  
Nel whispered the answer into his ear.  
"Oh, that might not be so bad after all."  
Nel took the box and smacked Albel over the head with it. As she swung the box grabbed a hold of his ear lobe and hung like an earring. She stomped off.  
"Hey, what was that for you freaky red head?"  
She turned back and glared at him. "You're really slipping on insults."

Meanwhile, back at Castle Aquaria…  
"Whoa, Adray… What can I say, I'm so touched." The queen wiped the tears of joy from her eyes.  
"I knew you would like it if I turned the audience chamber into a disco dance club.  
"It's the best!" She hugged his neck.  
Lasselle passed by. "Oh, look at the pretty lights."  
"Yes," the king replied, following Lasselle. "Wanna dance?"  
"Sure."

Meanwhile back to our dynamic dual…  
"Holy barbeque and milkshakes Batman!"

WRONG DYNAMIC DUAL, Now for the correct one…  
"Ahh, the blasted thing won't let go!" Albel was trying to pull the box off his ear.

………POPCORN……….

PART ELEVEN: The Crazy Authoress CAT

"AiiiiiIIIII!" Albel shrieked in a tone similar to a twelve-year-old girl's, "Getitoffme! GETITOFFMENOW! OWIES!"

Nel cracked her knuckles and grinned deviously.

"Don't worry, Noxie. This won't hurt a bit." She paused to think for a moment, and an Albel-ish grin grew, "Bah, who am I kidding? It's gonna hurt like hell and I'm gonna enjoy it."

"Sadist!" Albel whimpered.

Before either knew what was happening, Hyperactive Peppita (who had just slipped away from Mirage by getting Roger to try to cop a feel on the blonde, which led to several broken bones in the menodix in question, but distracted her nonetheless.) appeared and began bouncing around the two.

"I like it, Label!" Peppita crowed, "It makes you look like a pirate."

"Really?" Albel squealed happily, since he'd always wanted to be a pirate deep down inside.

"I've always wanted to be a pirate deep down inside." Nel exclaimed enviously. "And not the crappy Johnny Depp kind of pirate with eyeliner and stuff. I wanna be the kind to pirate that stabs people and runs away with their wallets and assorted treasure."

"Uhh… then in that sense, aren't you already a pirate? Just, you know, without a ship?" Fayt (who had also just appeared, though with no scientific explainable mode of transportation besides the Plot Hole, his new starship) said, smiling vacantly, as usual.

"If she is, then I am too!" Albel pouted, ignoring Nel and her new-found knowledge of twentieth century Earth movies.

Nel's eyes lit up and she stabbed Fayt, stole his wallet and commandeered his starship.  
"I AM a pirate, aren't I?" Nel grinned proudly, stepping on Fayt's body.  
Of course, being Fayt, he wasn't really dead because SOMEONE had gone and reset the game, bringing him back to life.

You know who you are.

However… Nel soon found out that she wasn't the sort for the space cowboy (koff bebop koff) life, mainly because Fayt had hired Maria and Sophia as his crew and they were too busy making out to do any real work. Thus, Nel and Albel used their new power as space pirates to throw the two confused girls overboard without oxygen or space suits, but Lieber managed to pick them up just in time to keep their lungs from exploding at a probability of 1 to the power of 123456789ths. Which by a strange coincidence, is exactly the probability that anyone will get that allusion.  
Without a crew, the Plot Hole promptly plummeted down to Elicoor II and Nel and Albel ended up in the same spot they had been before they took their pointless sidequest.

"Well, that was random." Nel said musingly.

"Yes." Albel snarled. "Let us never speak of it again."

There was an awkward silence, and the four stared at each other in the traditional Mexican standoff style, each pointing a weapon of some sort at the other. Albel threatened Nel, Peppita threatened Albel, and Nel threatened Fayt, who stood there blankly, not knowing what he was supposed to do.  
Just as everyone else was about to turn on Fayt, a small raccoon-boy-pervert thing came whooshing through the air at abnormal speeds, almost as though he'd been punted by an angry female Klausian.

"Heeeey, lovely ladies!" Roger leered through two bloody purple eyes and several missing teeth. "How you doin'?"

The four people gathered ignored him, but the box did not. It sprang into action, its mouth frothing rabidly.

"Not… a Menodix! But Farnave (since even Nel didn't know which was which) said to never let the box near one!" Nel gasped sharply, stating the obvious.

However, no one could see any of the ensuing events because a convenient case of moon-glare on Albel's cue ball head blinded everyone in the vicinity.

"Dammit, Nox, can you move your big shiny head? It burnses us, precious…"

Nel doubled over, then collapsed to the ground, rubbing her eyes in pain. Albel merely stood and gloated over her, a wry grin plastered across his face. The mini box growled ferociously.

"That, my dear sidekick, is what we call a defense mechanism. But if it makes you feel better, I can't see either." Albel smirked.

"I'm not your sidekick! And that's because you never made holes in your mask, idiot. No wonder you were out here groping at rocks while you were supposed to be trying to find the box."

"Hmph." Albel pouted, crossing his arms.

"You know…" Nel grinned, "When you do that, you look like Mr. Clean. Do it again! Did they give you a lifetime supply of head wax to be his double or something?"

Intent on making eyeholes with his katana, Albel completely ignored her and her new-found knowledge of twentieth century Earth advertising.

Once the glare had subsided and Albel had finished his eye holes, the dust began to clear, and they could see two figures in the rubble. One, about two inches high, was the exact likeness of Clair.

"You have committed a great folly." The chibi-Clair growled menacingly. "The first guardian of the box's super-uber-mysterious contents has been awakened. It is a thing so vicious, so feared, that any man who has seen it has gone mad with terror."

"Ah, quit the dramatic monologue and get on with it already, maggot." Albel barked.

Clair dramatically stepped aside and looking up at them in her stead was one of the most horribly disturbing sights any had ever seen. Kind of. It had red eyes that glowed with the intensity of a thousand furnaces, its teeth were sharp and pointed like tiny spikes. It growled through its fangs at the ones staring at it and hopped up and down menacingly. Even its fur was a menacing color of pink... like evil cotton candy. Behind it, an even tinier chained box appeared.

"Is that a freakin' bunny?" Albel growled back at it, his own red eyes gleaming. "THAT'S the thing so vicious, so feared—?"

Nel eyed the rabbit dubiously, then shrugged.

"I could see how the cuteness could fool people… and it does explain all those growling noises inside the box…"

"Oh, but it's not just any bunny—" Clair began.

Albel ignored Clair's warning completely and bent down to examine the rabbit. It immediately snarled and made a hiccupping noise, spitting a tiny fireball at Albel.

"What the hell?" Albel screamed, "My face! My beautiful, bishy face!"

"It's called… a firabbit." Clair said softly, an echo of a nightmare present in her voice.

Only then did Nel realize that Clair's clothes were covered with burn and teeth marks. Albel, who had been writhing in a corner, finally regained enough courage to sidle in closer, hand on katana.

"Back, demon! Back to the pit of hell from whence you came!" Albel cried maniacally, pulling out a bomb from his pack.

Post-story AN- You know you want to know what happens next. So review or else I shall hold the Periwinkle Box hostage! Besides that, I will rain my vengeance upon anyone who reads this and doesn't review by flooding their web-browser with annoying pop-ups for "Spank-the-Monkey" Games and "Hot and Single" personal ads! Bwahaha! Don't think I won't; my fiendishness knows no end! –insert evil laughter-


	4. Because all heroes need a few nemesises

**The Adventures of Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl**

A/N- Thanks so much for all the great reviews. You guys all rock so much. However, Plot Hole of No Return gets the prize of coolest reviewer because their awesome review made me remember that I had another chapter of this ready to be posted. –gives out cookies to all reviewers- Now, onto another episode of… The Adventures of Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl!

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PART TWELVE: Raven the Dark Angel

Nel turned toward Albel. "What are you doing with that?"

"This? It's a bomb!"

"It's a rubbery ducky!"

"FOOL! It's clearly a duck-duck-bomb!"

"Then why does it squeak?"

"It squeaks with the power of explosion!" Albel screamed and hurled the duck at the box... in which it squeaked and bounced off with the power of rubber.

"Riiight." Nel sighed and picked up the chained box. "Let's just hurry up and deliver this thing before things get any weirder."

And so off they went skipping into the sunrise to the city of Kirlsa in which they arrived at Woltar's door to retrieve the further arsenal or whatever the heck they were supposed to get. The trauma of the reset button reset their short-term memory. Perhaps they should have saved...

Albel and Nel blinked staring up at the Kirlsa mansion that now was turned into a giant green castle.

"I don't remember this." Nel said.

"BAH!" Albel spat, "It's always been like this. That's how much you know!"

"Ooohkay." Nel sighed and knocked on the green door.

A flap suddenly slid open and a Storm Brigade soldier suddenly announced, "There ain't nobody allowed to see the wizard, no way, no how!" And the flap was suddenly slammed shut.

"What the hell!" Albel screamed and slammed on the door again. "This is LORD NOX you fool!"

The flap opened again. "And I said NOBODY is going to see the wizard!"

"I don't want to see the wizard!" Albel growled back.

"Then why are you here?"

"To see the old man!"

"You mean the wizard?"

"No! Woltar!"

"Hmm...Woltar...Woltar... lemme see...NOPE! You can't see the wizard I told you!"

Albel grabbed the man's collar through the flap. "Open this door right now, maggot or we will be seeing your guts!"

"Right this way sir!"

And the gates opened.

Albel and Nel then skipped down the long hallway. They HAD to skip because the spandex was now ridding up and to save themselves some dignity neither would dare to pick the evil wedge threatening to shatter both their sanities. And so they opened the door.

A green puff of smoke filled the room along with a giant green head. Was that Zordon!

"Who dares see the wizard!" boomed an evil most evil, evil voice of all evilness that could ever be evil that was somehow strangely good.

"Come off it old man!" Albel snapped. "You aren't a wizard! Hell you don't even know any symbology!"

"Oh poo!" Woltar grumbled and stepped out from behind the curtain. "You always ruin my fun! And I wanted to celebrate my new castle too."

"I told you it was new," Nel grumbled.

"And so did I."

Nel looks annoyed but puts all stupidity aside. "We brought you the box." she told him and handed it to him along with the evil bunny.

"AHHH! My precious, precious..." Woltar blinked finding that the two of them were staring at him kissing the box. "I mean... OH the box! Haha... That's right the MISSION. How could I forget?"

"The reset button?" Nel questioned.

"Of course. It's a vile plague that plagues us all in all of plagueyness that could even be plagued! Ahem... Anyway Here is the secret weapon." And he tossed them a bunny.

Albel screams and ducks for cover only to realize this one is just a toy.

"What the hell are we gonna do with this? It's a fake!" Albel complained.

"Or so you think."

"Or so I think?"

"What are you Fayt, repeating everything into a question? It's real!"

"As real as your stupidity!" Albel screamed then paused... wait that was said wrong wasn't it?

"Besides weren't you told NOT to open the box?"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Nel screamed and fell to the floor. "I'm sorry I failed the mission!" and she continued to sob and nearly drowned in her tears until Albel gave her a good kick.

"Get a hold of yourself woman!"

"Yes... I must FOR MY COUNTRY!" Nel sniffed and straightened back up.

"AHEM!" Woltar ahemed. "This toy bunny is actually used to tame this EVIL one."

"I thought you just said it was real!" Albel complained.

"C'mon boy!" the elder scolded, "I think the tag that says 'made in china' would have gave it away!"

"What's China?" Nel questioned.

"I don't know." Woltar admitted. "I thought you'd know since you have a strange knowing of things from 20th century Earth.

Nel tilted her head and twitched her eye... Must be a 4D computer glitch. Just another OPA (out of place awareness).

"But anyway!" Woltar ahemed yet again. "I want to come with you!" He suddenly dashed behind the curtain and popped out wearing a strange super hero uniform with the colors of Airyglyph's flag that are unable to be seen by the unElicoorian eye in all of it's greatness. "I AM CAPTAIN AIRYGLYPH!" He shouted in a superhero stance only the old coot could pull off or that of a person with a lot of arthritis.

"Dear Apris!" Nel screamed.

"Run!" Albel shouted. "Let us run for OUR DEAR LIVES!"

……….POPCORN!……….!

PART THIRTEEN: Blue Persuasion

Albel started to run, only to be caught by Nel. She had looped her finger in the back of his chocker. His legs had gone from under him and he was hanging mercilessly from his chocker; gasping for breath.  
"I'm sorry Captain Airyglyph, but you are breaking the ethical code of super heroes," Nel said oblivious to Albel's current state.  
"How so?"  
"First, your underwear is showing."  
Albel clawed at his neck. "Help," he wheezed weakly.  
"Second, Airyglyph already has a copyright on it."  
"Need to breathe." Albel was fading.  
"Third, you can only join the rank of super hero on the third Thursday following the second Tuesday of Raspberry's day.   
"Goodbye… cruel… world."  
"OMG!" Marietta screamed running into the green castle. "You killed Alby!"  
"Nope," Amanda said poking him in the cheek. "He's just sleeping. Poor Alby. I know, let's put make-up on him and fix his hair up!"  
Marietta and Amanda jumped around in circles holding hands. They ran off and got make-up and hairspray. Nel had forgotten about her grip on the unconscious man as the two girls went to work on him.  
"Oh… when is Raspberry's day?" Woltar asked.  
"It comes right after Die By Toad's day and right before Dress As Your Favorite Rabid Animal That CAT Likes To Threaten With day."  
"I see… I must then go and plan my next move. I'm sure I can join the 'other' side easier."  
"Do what you want."

Meanwhile, in the ship orbiting Elicoor  
"Yes! Yes…not long now Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl… Not long now!"  
"What is it you have against them?" Cliff asked, eyeing Mirage suspiciously.  
"Why do you ask?"  
"Well, this is just so out of character for you, that's all."  
Mirage frowned. "Are you sure this is out of character?"  
"Um… now that you mention it…"

Back to Albel… Um, I think that's Albel. Anyway…  
Albel opened his eyes slowly. He looked around at his surroundings only to receive a flash of light in his eyes.  
"WHAT WAS THAT FOR, MAGGOT!"  
"Oh, nothing…just getting pictures of this. It's too good!" Maria was laughing as she took the pictures.  
"I hate to break up your fun Maria, but we have a mission to finish."  
"Oh," Maria said putting her camera away. "Well, have a nice mission Miss Nel and err… Ms. Nox."  
"What did you call me?"  
"Oh Alby, don't be a crybaby!" Amanda said hanging on his shoulders. "I always wanted a sister!"

(Blue note: Okay, if any of you don't know Amanda, she's from one of my fics. She's Albel's deranged little sister. She's sixteen and wants to follow Albel around like a shadow – so he runs very fast from her. I couldn't help but to bring her back!)

……….POPCORN……….!

PART FOURTEEN: dark-phoenix1

All were laughing and enjoying themselves, for Albel in makeup is a delightful sight to see. It is comparable to such things as hedgehog painting, jello skates, and the Great Carbonated Soda Rainbow of the planet Fizzitron VI, but that's not the point.

Of course, with all wonderful things, there comes people who want to destroy them for an unknown reason. Mostly out of boredom, but for other reasons as well. So, as expected, a deadly shadow lurked behind a randomly generated corner. It glared at the happiness and glee caused by Albel's degradation, and pulled an evil device from its pocket. It took careful aim, straight at the head of the unknowing Aquarian maiden known as Nel, and let fly the dastardly instrument of assassination...

All Nel felt was an annoying fwop on the head. Whatever hit her clanged helplessly to the ground.

"What's this?" Nel asked as she picked up the strange device.

"Muahahahahahah!" an even stranger voice answered, "Fear me! For I am the legendary random assassin of random boredom and legendary redundancy: Slinky Maaaan! And now, since I have failed in my attempt at assassination, I shall fade away mysteriously and in a mysterious fashion. POOF!" He yelled. No one knew why he yelled Poof at the end of his sentence. They stared at him as he glanced around, and walked away disheartened.

……….POPCORN……….!

PART FIFTEEN- The Crazy Authoress CAT

And so everyone promptly went back to making fun of Albel. That is, except Nel, who really wanted to know what Slinky man had attempted to assassinate her with. She picked it up and examined the tool. It was strangely coiled in a way that implied latent ferocity.  
"Oooooh! A Slinky!" Amanda squealed, reaching out her hands for the toy/dire weapon of assassination. "I want it!"  
"You might put your eye out…" Nel said uncertainly.  
Still, she relinquished it happily. The thing freaked her out almost as much as spandex. What she couldn't figure out was why Slinky Man had tried to kill her with it. Amanda ignored Nel's internal battle and began trying to find somewhere for the Slinky to slink.  
"Amanda? B-back?" Albel sputtered upon hearing her voice again.  
The others looked on in interest as Albel collapsed and curled into the fetal position.  
"Go away!" He mumbled, "I'm in my happy place… Ah, blood on a battlefield… skewering Aquarian scum… Damn! The fairies are back! And their steeds! Flying… llamas… everywhere… Noooo! Retreat!"  
"Is it just me or did the insanity quotient just rise several thousand points?" Maria mumbled.  
"It's another of Albel's self-defense mechanisms." Nel shrugged., "He'll be babbling like this until she leaves."  
"Or until Nel gives him a pair of her panties…" Roger leered.  
The unfortunately big-mouthed Menodix was punted the equivalent of eight football fields. Meanwhile, Albel shuddered violently and found a randomly generated corner to hide in.  
"I don't want any! Ne parle pas Evilsisterian! That girl stole my goat!"  
Amanda snorted and arched an eyebrow. There was no way she'd fall for her brother's crazy act and leave.  
"Not before you see how pretty I made you, big sis Albelina!"  
With that, Amanda pulled out a compact mirror and set it in front of cowering Albel. The screams of anguish could be heard for miles around.  
"Tsum ton llik retsis…" Albel growled, searching for his katana. There was only so much protection a family member got if they did something like this to him. Luckily, Nel had hidden the katana so well that Albel's search lasted a half-hour, after which he'd forgotten why he needed it. And apparently, that he still had make-up plastered all over his face.  
Knowing she'd fulfilled her job and not really wanting to be eviscerated, Amanda skipped off into the sunset to see if this Mirage person needed quality help torturing Albel.  
"Someday I shall defeat you, Crazy Girl! Mark my word as Skirt Boy! You shall be my nemesiiiiiis!" Albel shouted theatrically after her.  
She threw her slinky back at him, nailing him in the forehead and almost putting out his eye.  
"I told you so." Nel gloated.  
"Shaddup..." Albel muttered.   
Nel sighed pensively and twirled a strand of hair. Albel made a point of not watching.  
"One thing's still bothering me, though."  
"What's that, sidekick?"  
Nel glared at him murderously and kicked him in the side.  
"That man called himself Slinky Man... And everyone knows that only superheroes have to state the obvious and declare their gender in their name. Could it be that there are other superheroes and superhero wannabes that want to prevent us from prevailing on our quest?"  
"I don't care: I'll defeat all the maggots! ...As soon as I find some soap and water..."  
"You do know that make-up's water proof, right?" Nel snickered.  
"RAAAAAAWWWRRRRR!" Albel cried, falling to his knees.

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A/N- Hey, kids! If you review now and send in eight UPCs from Koas brand "Skit Boy and Stabby Girl Breakfast O's", you get superpowers too. Act now and choose your own superhero name! Disclaimer: Super powers may not be super or powerful. Koas Incorporated takes no responsibility for misused superpowers and/ or lack thereof. Do not attempt Skirt Boy and Stabby Girl's stunts at home, especially the wearing of Spandex.

Now go review or I shall thwack you with a firabbit, for that is CAT's superpower. And writing crazy humor with my associates. XD

Tune in next week: Same bat time, same bat channel!


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